The League (FX) – Thursdays at 10:30 and 11:30pm.

It appears that week 2 of the League was a trick play and the viewers just had the Statue of Liberty play run down the field all over them like that sophomore girl that was invited to Prom by that senior guy who was just short of being nominated for Prom King. She couldn’t say no. He was in the running to be in the running for Prom King. In the end, she should have said no. That guy ruined a perfectly good dress that she was never going to wear again which made her cry even though she was never going to wear the dress again anyway.

Sorry, too much ether last night.

The League failed to conjure multiple laughs after abandoning the successful strategy of using three dirty, naughty, awesome themes to make as many inappropriate jokes as possible.

Grade: D+  Intensely boring. At least they called Frank Gore getting hurt. The only reason to watch week for is that it’s still drafting behind It’s Always Sunny… twice in one night.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phx/1164655647.html

best of craigslist > phoenix > Drunk as Balls Dojo

Drunk as Balls Dojo

Date: 2009-05-11, 12:21AM MST

Are you a casual drunk to full blown alcoholic? Is your mouth often writing checks your fists can’t cash? Drunk as Balls Dojo is the answer to all of your problems. At Drunk as Balls Dojo you will learn the fine art of bar fighting from one of the nation’s premiere trouble drunks- Ryan O’Reilly. Master O’Reilly has been banned nationally from such established chains as Friday’s, Buffalo Wild Wings, and every Border’s Book Store containing a Starbucks. He is an expert in the “What are you looking at” and “You got a problem” fighting styles, but is very skilled in a variety of other styles such as “She was talking to me.”
Master O’reilly will take you from the pansy-ass lush you are now to becoming a true liability in only 5 weeks. Intensive training covering such varied areas of self-offense as:
-Using wing sauce as a weapon
-Breaking a beer bottle without slicing and dicing your hands
- Accurate projectile vomiting
- Flicking a lit cigarette into someones face
- “Getting the fuck outta there”

Classes will be held every Monday, Weds, and Friday- with Fridays being reserved for critiquing failed technique in the classic and award winning movie Roadhouse. You’ll come to class, get wasted drunk, and mix it up with other like-minded individuals. Master Ryan will show you the path to true ‘trouble maker.’ Only when you reach that point will you be able to tell that douche-bag how ridiculous his shirt/hat/girlfriend is with the confidence that only comes from being trained as a drunk fighter. If you aspire to bar-flydom, this class is a must have!

Classes start at $50 a week + a 12 pack per class.

• Location: Tempe
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

This elevator movie is so much better than any Winamp visualizer you ever saw while eating mushrooms, pizza, pot, beer and ecstasy in between liberal arts classes at UMass Amherst. Click on anything to be linked to video.

Wonderworld? Oh thats past the church of electric light, past the giant baby head with the half man half birdhead guy. Cross a bridge and you're there. If you hit the candycane forest... you've gone to far. Turn around.

Warning: Soberness may affect the enjoyability (which is kinda like drinkability) of this video.

This moment of terror is when Christine realizes her GPS won't reroute her around the traffic jam to hell. Stupid Garmin.

Drag Me to Hell (Universal) – Sam Raimi makes horror fun once again. While Drag Me to Hell lacks the outright silliness of Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness it ups the mockery of horror movies that take themselves too seriously. Hilarious, shockingly disgusting, fun and satisfying, Drag Me to Hell is similar to the first time you had sex only it’s more professional, and it’s better looking.

Verdict – Very Watchable. Not an instant classic like the aforementioned Evil and Army but it does have twice the amount corpse mucas. So there’s that.

http://www.rollingstone.com/rockdaily/index.php/2009/04/09/kanye-west-admits-to-getting-murdered-by-south-park-promises-to-deflate-ego/

Kanye West Admits To Getting “Murdered” By “South Park,” Promises To Deflate Ego

http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/03/let-the-right-one-in-subtitle-problem

Most awkward Sex Addicts Anonymous meeting ever.

Role Models could have been worse. Not by much though. The first 30 minutes of any movie ever hasn’t been as unfunny as ‘Role Models’ first act. It didn’t even have jokes other than Stiffler wearing a Mini-taur suit and Paul Rudd making fun of Starbucks calling their drink sizes by names that are stupid. The rest of the movie slowly spirals down into full frontal dorkdom. If you happen to enjoy watching other people take part in live action role playing then feel free to watch this movie and then kill yourself with a foam excaliber or shoot many of your classmates with semi-automatic rifles because you’re anti-social and listen to heavy metal music. Extra Intensity: I don’t know how this movie got 76% on rotten tomatoes. I guess that just proves that 75% of movie critics are big fat losers who play with Dungeons and Dragons instead of boobies, also known as fun bags.

Body of Lies is actually worth renting. Some woman may not want to bother because the dreamy Russel Crowe is fat, abrasive, hairy, and always eating. Other woman may want to watch this movie because Russel Crowe is fat, abrasive, hairy, and always eating. Big girls need to obsess over movie stars too.

JCVD is Jean-Claude Van Dammes seemed so comfortable in a roll since Universal Soldier: The Return. Of course in ‘JCVD’ he plays a version of himself that sucks at acting and who’s career goes nowhere.