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With Me You Only Need 2 Minutes… March 6, 2009

Posted by The Ringer in movie reviews.
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I’ve been working and have abandoned my child… I have abandoned the stranger in the Alps. So here’s the new version of the Detractor… with me you only need 2 mintues… because I’m so intense… awww yeah.

Forgetting Sarah Marshall is prety forgettable.  How many sappy love movies are the Judd Apatow crew going to make? Too many. ‘I Love You, Man’ looks like the next Superbad only older and gayer. Actually, nothing could be gayer than Superbad.

Quarentine is if ‘Cloverfield’ had dirty sex with ’28 Days Later’ and then locked its ugly love child in a small apartment building until everyone exposed to it dies from suffering through plot holes.

Futurama: Beast of a Billion Backs has a billion jokes 50 of which are funny. The movie has a flash of the old style of Futurama and some good chuckles but for the most part the humor has turned to cheesy puns and some ‘Family Guy’ like non-sequiturs.  Wait… no, ‘Family Guy’ stole that from Matt Groening. I hope Seth McFarlane chockes to death on a chunk of his grandmother’s corpse.

speaking of which…

Choke is Chuck Palaknyukka’s (Palahniuk) second novel to hit solenoid and it was as boring as it looked in it’s commercials. Why won’t someone make Invisible Monsters into a movie? You couldn’t make a story about drug addled  super models/transgender freaks boring. Especially if Jessica Biel played the man character, uh, I mean main character. Yeah…

Those dogs are more feminine that Biel. Shit, my penis is more feminine than her vagina. Too far?

Those dogs are more feminine that Biel. Shit, my penis is more feminine than her overies. Too far?

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