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Movies to Avoid: A Preview of Movies to Avoid June 12, 2009

Posted by The Ringer in Movies to Avoid, Uncategorized.
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Because movies don’t come with a warning…

Movies to Avoid This Weekend:

Taking of Pelham 1,2,3  (Columbia)

I told you man! I'm selling these for me! Not no basketball team. I sell 'em so I can buy more candy, stay off the street and outta gangs. Now! All I have left is Peanut M&Ms and Starbursts. WHO WANTS STARBURSTS!??!

I told you man! I'm selling these for me! Not no basketball team. I sell 'em so I can buy more candy, make more money, stay off the street and outta gangs. Now! All I have left is Peanut M&Ms and Starbursts. WHO WANTS STARBURSTS!??!

Judging from the reviews I read glazed over Tony Scott’s ‘Pelham’ sticks to the original story line and does a decent job of updating the Walter Matthau version, which means its cheasy, predictable and nothing more than a cookie cutter hostage flick. The upside; the cast is heavy with respectable thespians Denzel, Tony Soprano, John Tuturro and Luis Guzman (who’s Luis Guzman? He’s that guy.) So if you think the commercials look intriguing you’ll most likely enjoy the classic 70’s plot and strong acting.

Recommendation: If you enjoy good movies you’ll go see The Hangover instead.

I dunno dad... Brazzer's Pass does have good production quality but the plots are lame... kinda like your movies.

I dunno dad... Brazzer's Pass does have good production quality but the plots are lame... kinda like your movies.

Imagine That (Paramount/Nickelodeon)

Eddie Murphy plays an actor who can’t stop his career downspiral is invited into his daughter’s imaginary world… oh wait, no… I’m sorry Murphy plays a finance executive who can’t stop his career downspiral until his daughter’s imagination blah blah blah Eddie Murphy hasn’t made a funny movie since 1988. No seriously… look at his last 23 movies (Shreks not included) Meet Dave, Norbit, Dreamgirls, The Haunted Mansion, Daddy Day Care, I Spy, The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Showtime, Dr. Doolittle 2, The Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps, Bowfinger, Life, Holy Man, Doctor Doolittle, Mulan, Metro, The Nutty Professor, Vampire in Brooklyn, Beverly Hills Cop III, The Distinguished Gentleman, Boomerang, Another 48 Hrs, Harlem Nights. If history dictates anything it will dictate this; Imagine That will either earn Jennifer Hudson an Oscar or it will suck harder than having your mom, brother and nephew killed on the same day.

Recommendation: If your kid had a frontal lobotomy then by all means give your money to Paramount and Nickelodeon. Otherwise go see Pixar’s ‘Up’ a second time.

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