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Reader Request November 10, 2009

Posted by The Ringer in Reader Request.

A Preview of Sherlock Holmes (Warner Bros – Village Roadshow Pictures) has been requested by a reader – Directed by Guy Ritchie – Starring RDJ, Jude Law, Rachel McAdams – Written by Michael Robert Johnson (this is his first go-round), Anthony Peckham (2001’s Don’t Say a Word and the upcoming new Clint Eastwood flick) and Simon Kenberg (wrote Jumper, X-Men’s Last Stand, Mr. & Mrs. Smith and XxX: State of the Union)


Ritchie is clearly trying to hammer down the sought after female/gay dude/sadist demographic which is the third largest demographic right after males 18-35 and female tweens.

Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes looks to be following the template of 2004’s Van Helsing; take a classic literary character, cast good looking guy with hot girl, turn into action movie, print money. Holmes probably won’t be as bad as Helsing… well, it WON’T be as bad as Helsing. Nothing is bad as Van Helsing. Herpes is better than that movie. Herpes with HIV filling isn’t as bad as that monumental disastrous raping of a literary icon. However Ritchie’s reinvention (re-envisioning?) of England’s second most famous sleuth seems to be a little, just a tad, geared toward a larger audience than the original character created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

In the original stories Holmes and Watson rarely used weapons. Holmes only used his cane twice as a weapon over the course of four novels and a multitude of short stories, according to the Almighty. He and Watson did in fact pack heat and engaged into the occasional pastime of fisticuffs but for the most part Holmes stuck to his favorites: talking, thinking, and doing drugs. The talking and the thinking will definitely play in the new film but the drug use isn’t tween friendly and it’s rated PG-13 which is lame.

Overall this film looks to be a slight perversion of the Holmes character and story style but will most likely be a blockbuster popcorn flick that will satisfy many a fan. Especially the ladies. Face it… this movie is designed to have enough action and violence for the gents and enough hunky man nipples for the bitches, I mean ladies.

There are 5 reasons to see this movie: RDJ, explosions,  RDJ, your girlfriend will probably see it with you, and RDJ.

There are 8 reasons not to see this movie: Guy Ritchie*, Jude Law, Simon Kenberg, partial male nudity, English accents, a PG-13 rating, your girlfriend will probably see it with you and then pretend your penis is RDJ’s penis the next time she lets you touch her in the pants-pants. AND IT’S CO-WRITTEN BY THE GUY WHO WROTE XxX: STATE OF THE FUCKING UNION!

* I know some people like Guy Ritchie’s films but then again Dancing with the Stars is the most popular television show right now.



1. bonesaw - November 11, 2009

pants pants….hahah

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