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The Oasis in a Vast Wasteland – Scrubs Season 9 December 2, 2009

Posted by The Ringer in The Oasis in a Vast Wasteland.
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Scrubs (ABC at 9pm on Tuesdays)

Scrubs is back and classier than ever. And don't let this photo fool you. JD is as gay as ever.

Those crazy doctors from Sacred Heart are back for a ninth season due to popular demand. Well, maybe it wasn’t popular demand but either way Cougar Town isn’t paying all of Bill Lawrence’s wife’s plastic surgery bills. Some of the characters are back and some are not. The hospital is still called Sacred Heart but it’s a brand new scene. “They tore down the old hospital and built a new one on the medical campus” which translates to “The old ER set was just sitting around… so…” And there’s some new characters.

All in all the first two episodes which aired back to back on Wednesday weren’t really all that bad. Despite Bill Lawrence saying that they were going to change the “feel” of the show its pace, charismatic aceribic wit, voiceover use and angry attending Dr. Cox are all the same. It had some funny moments but for the most part it was akin to a series pilot that has to spend time acclimating the viewers to new characters and setting.

Click More for lists of Returning characters and New Characters…

Returning characters: JD. He’s teaching medical students in the classroom this season. He’s only in the first six episodes so at some point he gets nailed for nailing a student in the supply closet doing unspeakable things with a papsmear kit. Or they write him out of the show in a much more family appropreiate manner.

Elliot. She’s preggers. With JDs baby. Looks like Sam had his day in the sun and will now grow up with serious ‘I’m not good enough’ baggage because Dad started a new family and it was all his fault. Sarah Chalk is also only signed up for the first six episodes.

Turk. He’s chief of surgery still but now with 100% less Carla around. Thank the lord. She was always a horribly unfunny character who’s gimmick was jumping up and down with jazz hands while saying “Please!” with big Dominican puppy dog eyes.

Dr. Cox aka Coxsmith aka Coxy. Angrier than ever John C. McGinley is clearly going to play this character until one of them dies. Any bets on who goes first? McGinley needs this show. The only other notable work he’s had in a decade was his short stint as a Miller Lite spokesman and supporting rolls in Are We Done Yet? and Wild Hogs. Keep milkin’ the Scrubs cow John. The film business has nothing for you. Good day sir!

Dr. Kelso. Surprised? Kelso is a professor at the school. Edith is dead so now he’s on the prowl which is gross. Old people trying to fornicate is gross. Old people complaining that they don’t want to fornicate with their wife of many years is hilarious. That’s why Kelso has been so funny. Semi-retirees trying to get lucky is, as explained before, fucking gross.

Denise Mahoney aka “Jo”  She’s the funniest new-ish character (she’s new as of Season 8) as her horrible lack of sensitivity and tact mix nicely with her strongest personality trait of not giving a shit.

New Characters: Lucy Bennet. The new Elliot. She’s blonde, young, scared, and wants to impress Dr. Cox. She also talks to herself and does voiceover just like JD. She looks like a bird. That is all.

Drew Suffin. The new JD. Well, not really. Drew is smart and a promising intern like JD was. Drew is not a whinny, attention starved, big nosed jack ass. There’s only so much room in the script for annoying and effeminate actors and Zach Braff has the monopoly.

Cole Aaronson. The younger brother of James Franco portrays the son of one of the biggest contributors of the new Sacred Heart so he’s the intern who can do anything he wants because his dad is everyones boss. They did this character before when the original Scrubs first became residents. It wasn’t good. But now they have an actor with a recognizable name so it must be a better idea than the first time.

Security Guards. The new Janitor. Neil Flynn got his own show so there’s a huge gap to fill in the new Scrubs. The gap fillers are two quirky and troublesome campus security guards. This is probably not going to work. The Janitor was something that no other show had before. He was random, harrassing, crazy and had no real place in the show. He was hilarious and Neil Flynn fell into a perfect situation at the perfect time. Catching lightning in a bottle rarely happens. When television tries to replicate said lightning all you get is a bottle filled with negative feed back from focus groups.

Grade: C +  The new season could be worth watching. Check out hulu.com for episodes 1 and 2.

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