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The Oasis in a Vast Wasteland – Dexter Has Balls (SPOILER ALERT) December 15, 2009

Posted by The Ringer in The Oasis in a Vast Wasteland.

Let's take a romantic bath together Dexter. I'll go warm up the water.

If you don’t know what spoiler alert means surely google.com will be able to find the definition for you. If you don’t want the ending of the fourth season of Dexter spoiled then don’t read the rest of this article. Or any of it.

In an entertainment world of cheap thrills, kitschy twists and infuriating cliffhanger season finales Showtime’s Dexter doesn’t follow the rest of the sheep. Each of the four seasons have ended succinctly and cleanly. All the story arcs come full circle with all the necessary information revealed. Most importantly each season ends at a significant turning point in Dexter’s life. Season one ends after he murders his brother who was the only person at the time to know Dexter’s secret. Season two ends after murdering his ex-girlfriend who murdered Sgt. Doakes, the only other person to know Dexter’s true hobby, leaving Dexter free to continue as a crazy fuck on the loose. Season three ended after Dexter murdered his new best friend whom found out Dex’s secret then convinced Dex to teach him the trade of murder for fun. Then he married Rita.

Click More… for the spoiler.

And most recently… season 4 ended after Dexter murdered Dick Solomon John Lithgow, the umpteenth person to know Dexter’s true nature, but not before Rita’s throat was sliced open with baby Harrison sitting on the floor with a front row seat. That’s correct. Rita Morgan was murked out by John Lithgow (a.k.a. Arthur Miller a.k.a The Trinity Killer) in the bathtub, with a knife with Dexter’s baby sitting in a pool of blood.

And this is why Baby Harrison will never use the boysenberry syrup at IHOP.

The show was due for a game changer. TV show audiences always need escalation of watershed events in the story line to stay interested. After killing off three semi-minor characters it was obvious that this season was going to up the stakes but it was a matter of who not when. In retrospect Rita was the obvious and excellent choice of victim. She didn’t have much screen time and her absence won’t affect the chemistry of the cast as most of the show’s content is between the detectives and Dexter. Also Rita was annoying, not funny and was a constant drag on Dexter’s murder schedule. Her death also presents several wrinkles into Dex’s life which might make it even harder for him to continue as a serial murdering vigilante. Will he be able to find a babysitter so he can follow, capture, dismember, and dispose of his next target? Can he take Cody to little league, Harrison to jamboree and Astor to piano practice and still have enough time to talk to his dead dad while trying not to throw up over the thought of Angel and LaGuerta naked, sweaty, covered in come and in the same bed?

No matter how season five proceeds Dexter has thus far proven to be a cold-blooded TV show. It has also proven to be a show conscious of which of its characters aren’t endearing to its audience. Thanks to Showtime for having some balls and killing a main character. Hopefully next year they’ll finally chop up Lt. Angel Baptista into tiny little bits wrapped inside one of his stupid shirts. Or LaGuerta. Preferably both of them.

Season Grade: A-  Better than season three. Not better than season two.

Individual Grades:

A- Dexter as a new dad kept things interesting and reflected many everyday problems real life serial killers must have. Stalking human prey in between changing diapers illustrated how fatherhood drains your energy but is also rewarding… unless the mother ends up dead in a pool of her own blood because you couldn’t kill John Lithgow quickly enough.

A+ Lundy dead. Awesome. Old men smooching young attractive women is gross. Plus as a Carradine he was doomed. Stay away from closets Keith.

A- Rita dead. She was getting more annoying each episode. Hot, yes. Funny, no. Eloquent, no. Replaceable, very. Good thing Dexter never officially adopted Cody and Astor or his “social” schedule will be fucked. Just kidding. Dexter will take care of them. Take care of them… for good. Just kidding. No seriously, they’re orphans which is sad.

B- Quinn started as a cheap replacement for Doakes that seemed stiff and uninteresting. After two seasons he’s fit in nicely as Debra’s at-work nemesis/partner/future fuck buddy. Honestly, it has to happen in season five.

F- Angel and LaGuerta hooking up. Blech.

A+ Angel and LaGuerta getting married. Nothing dooms a relationship like marriage. Hopefully it will culminate in the first episode next season.

A John Lithgow. An amazing actor with an amazing career took on an edgy role and played it extremely well. Not many could play a murder with so many different sides and personalities. Lithgow was a different person in every episode. He was creepy throughout and not nearly as annoying as Jimmy Smits. Give Lithgow a cookie. Or an Emmy for Best Supporting Actor. But that won’t happen because life is like a bathtub filled with blood and a corpse; it’s usually disapointing, messy and ruins the tile in the bathroom.



1. bonesaw - January 6, 2010

i dont watch dexter, i dont want to, but i feel like i just watched all of season 4 and dont need to now, either.


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