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Netflix is Going to Eat Your Children April 13, 2010

Posted by The Ringer in News.
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Everyone's favorite Italian plumber/babysitter now brings movies along with his pedo-mustache.

Netflix will not be stopped. It will destroy Blockbuster. It will enter your home via mail carrier, TiVo, nerdbox 360 and now your Wii. At this point Netflix is daring anyone born after 1975 to not sign up and giving them no reason not to do it. And now if you’re a person who owns a smaller, messier, dumber version of themselves (a child) and you can’t stand talking to them all day you now have one more reason to buy them a Wii. This makes the Wii even more adult friendly and will make Netflix more kid friendly. Just wait till all 3,437,432 straight to DVD SpongeBob SquarePants movies are available for you to watch while smoking the devil’s lettuce… uh, I mean, for your child to watch while eating Booberry (who is the most stoned looking cereal logo since General Mills made Frankenberry open his eyes all the way… but this has nothing to do with anything.)

For their customers who already utilize their instant viewing services the only question is when will more than 10% of the list of movies available for instant streaming be worth watching?

Not any time soon. Hollywood will always make $25 DVDs available for purchase before they’ll be available for virtual rental but hopefully a few years down the line that timeline will shorten to a couple of weeks instead of months and in most cases never. But the new generation of Americans will want their entertainment to be viewable immediately and not just the second tier of movie titles but all the top notch crowd pleasers. The children who will be the most important consumer demographic in ten years will be accustomed to having a virtual library of thousands and they will lead us to the promised land… never having to leave the house to rent a movie or walk to the mailbox. God bless America… and the Japanese who make it all possible.

Viewers should consider similar products to enhance their instant viewing experience.


Walter Abides April 2, 2010

Posted by The Ringer in Uncategorized.
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Watching the Net – Arrested Development April 1, 2010

Posted by The Ringer in Lost in the Net.
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Netflix throws its mismatched socks into a bin and sells them at discount online. The Stranger finds the ones that don’t stink and tells you where they are in the pile. They’re online.

Franklin said some things whitey wasn't ready to hear. He also said some things African-American-y wasn't ready to hear either.

Ever heard of a short-lived family sitcom that used to be on Fox called Arrested Development? If you have then you should probably watch all three seasons again or for the third or fourth time. If you haven’t then setting aside a half hour or more per day to watch this modern day classic is well worth your while.

America’s misfit dysfunctional family has found a new home at Netflix Instant View. Hulu.com and Universal HD had given them a couch to stay on for a little bit here and there but not all three seasons at the same time since Hulu began splitting up the seasons about a year ago. As of right now only the third season is available on their site.

But now all three seasons are primed, moist and willing for your convenience and viewing pleasure on with no commercials on Netflix. Live the greats all over again: Tobias Blue-ing himself, chicken dance after chicken dance, learning Pop-Pop’s lessons (especially the lesson on not giving people lessons), never-nude cut-offs, Charlize Theron playing the hottest retarded character ever, the corn baller, Lucille’s drinking and pill popping, everything that Buster does, Franklin the racist but funny puppet, STEVE HOLT! and everything in between.

Enjoy Arrested Development today on your computer or Xbox.

Warning: Fanboys will want to have some tissues ready to mop up any drooling while dreaming of the movie that’s in development.

Remember: Family first.