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Netflix is Going to Eat Your Children April 13, 2010

Posted by The Ringer in News.
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Everyone's favorite Italian plumber/babysitter now brings movies along with his pedo-mustache.

Netflix will not be stopped. It will destroy Blockbuster. It will enter your home via mail carrier, TiVo, nerdbox 360 and now your Wii. At this point Netflix is daring anyone born after 1975 to not sign up and giving them no reason not to do it. And now if you’re a person who owns a smaller, messier, dumber version of themselves (a child) and you can’t stand talking to them all day you now have one more reason to buy them a Wii. This makes the Wii even more adult friendly and will make Netflix more kid friendly. Just wait till all 3,437,432 straight to DVD SpongeBob SquarePants movies are available for you to watch while smoking the devil’s lettuce… uh, I mean, for your child to watch while eating Booberry (who is the most stoned looking cereal logo since General Mills made Frankenberry open his eyes all the way… but this has nothing to do with anything.)

For their customers who already utilize their instant viewing services the only question is when will more than 10% of the list of movies available for instant streaming be worth watching?

Not any time soon. Hollywood will always make $25 DVDs available for purchase before they’ll be available for virtual rental but hopefully a few years down the line that timeline will shorten to a couple of weeks instead of months and in most cases never. But the new generation of Americans will want their entertainment to be viewable immediately and not just the second tier of movie titles but all the top notch crowd pleasers. The children who will be the most important consumer demographic in ten years will be accustomed to having a virtual library of thousands and they will lead us to the promised land… never having to leave the house to rent a movie or walk to the mailbox. God bless America… and the Japanese who make it all possible.

Viewers should consider similar products to enhance their instant viewing experience.