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One Minute Movie Review – Star Trek May 13, 2009

Posted by Mike in 1 minute movie review, Star Trek.
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Don't pretend you don't want to see these two boning in a zero gravity situation.

Don't pretend you don't want to see these two boning in a zero gravity situation.

AKA, “Beautiful People in Space”. You know, there’s a well-known “curse” on Star Trek movies – the odd-numbered ones suck, while the even-numbered ones are pretty decent, best said by Simon Pegg in his brilliant sit-com “Spaced”, which none of you have seen because you are simply unworthy. This is how you end up with odd-numbered movies about fighting a giant self-aware space cloud and going to the end of the galaxy to meet God. Meanwhile, the even-numbered ones include the classic villian Khan and going back through time in order to bring a humpback whale to 1986 San Francisco. Yes, that’s a thing.

By this logic, the new Star Trek reboot, the 11th in the series, would inevitably have to suck. Yet: it’s rad. Let’s be honest, a good deal of the credit is due to the fact that movie technology has reached a point where the future actually looks badass, as opposed to the original show where (despite it being set in the 2200s) you get to see what people from 1966 thought 1989 was going to look like. Even if the bridge of the Enterprise now looks vaguely reminiscent of an Apple Store.

Shatner upon being told he was not invited back for the new movie.

Shatner upon being told he was not invited back for the new movie.

Look, when I go to a movie, I want it to look good, I want it to sound good, and I want it to kick my ass all over the place. This movie did all that and then some, just further proving that J.J. Abrams is king of the world. Well, universe. Though, it’s possible that after seeing the god-awful trailer for Transformers II before this, I could have watched “I Love Toy Trains” for two hours and been just as entertained.

It also answers the age-old questions: will Iowa in the 2200s have its own Grand Canyon; and will the Beastie Boys still be the music of choice?  Yes and yes. This is a future I will be proud to have died 90 years in advance of.